And by eagerly I mean insane with angst.

I had been signed up on The Hit List google group, but it turned out to be an inbox filling mess of complaints from people desperate for the iPhone app and apparently unable to read the other 4756 comments above theirs that said exactly the same thing (let me paraphrase): “Andy (the developer), this silence is totally unprofessional.  You suck as a developer because you don’t give us status updates.  Fuck this, I’m going back to Things/Omnifocus.  Okay, I’m back WHERE’S THE iPHONE APP!!!?? WHAAAA!”

Seriously.  The ridiculousness of the comments on the groups page on average is tantamount to the ridiculousness of drivers in Austin; all peace and love until they get on the road (internet) and then they turn into do-you-want-to-making-fuck-berserker(s).

I do, however, understand their anxiety.  I am really excited about the app myself.  My philosophy is that screaming at Santa doesn’t usually bring the presents any faster, and may lead to him strangling you with his beard.  No shit.  I heard Santa was really a Russian (hence the red) and everyone knows that the Russians don’t play around.

All that aside, my original purpose for this post is to say that the Potion Factory website is down and my copy of The Hit List brings up an error when I try to update it.  Is this routine maintenance or something more exciting or maybe even something sad?  Is The Hit List just going to be let out of beta?  Will the iPhone app finally be announced, thus changing our lives and the course of history as we know it?

Whatever it is, I applaud Andy Kim and the Potion Factory for putting out amazing apps that rival offerings from much heavier hitters.  What amazes me is, as far as I know, it’s just one guy doing all the work.  Impressive.

UPDATE:  Looks like the site’s back up.  Lookin’ like just some routine maintenance.  That’s what I get for getting emotional.

The Independence Crew

Hey Folks!  Just wanted to drop a quick note that Austin’s Independence Brewing Company is turning 5 years old this week.  They are responsible for such tasty brews as Freestyle Wheat, Independence Pale Ale, Bootlegger Brown Ale, and others.  They will be celebrating this Saturday October 24th, from 4 PM to 9 PM at the brewery.  There will be music, food, and of course the beer will be flowing.  Everyone attending will get 3 FREE beer samples.  They’ll have a 5th Anniversary Beer as well as their standards. They’ll also be sampling their recent creation, Convict Hill Oatmeal Stout.  Haven’t had that one yet, but I’ve heard good things about it.  Can’t wait to try it!  For more details check out their site.  Come on out and celebrate one of Austin’s best brewers!  Where else are you going to get FREE Beer on a Saturday?!  Support local beer!

Really Monster?  Thinking of getting into the beer brewing business are yuh?  Go fuck off with that plan!  Stick to what you’re good at, high fructose corn syrup, caffeine, toxic waste green, and douchebagery.  The last thing this country needs is more watered down, big corporate beer!

Please show your support for Matt, and the hard working folks at Rock Art Brewery, by boycotting Monster.  Get the word out to your friends and community: Twitter, Facebook.  Give Monster a kick in the nuts by dropping comments here.  Of course, one of the best ways to show your support would be to drink some of Rock Art’s beer.  I don’t recall seeing it around here.  I’m going to make some calls and see if I can find it.  If you know where it can be found in Austin please let us all know.  That Vermonster sounds tasty!

Fuck Monster Energy Drink!  Support Local Beer!  Support Micro Brewers!

What better time to enjoy the undead than the month of All Hallows’ Eve and the celebration of all that is unholy?  Having recently enjoyed Zombieland as well as book one of Robert Kirkman’s excellent “The Walking Dead”, it’s safe to say my curiosity was piqued when I saw an ad for Max Brooks’ The Zombie Survival Guide: Recorded Attacks.  One minute I was giddily gobbling up delicious sci-fi morsels from the sci-fi/fantasy candy store called io9, and the next I was furiously clicking on the flashing square of flash-animated zombie goodness in the right hand corner of my screen.  I never click on ads.  And by “never” I mean “rarely”.  But it was totally worth it.  Not only do they give you a taste of what’s sandwiched between the covers of what looks like a kick ass graphic novel in a nice “moving pictures” montage, but they also allow you to download the first 24 pages of the book in PDF form.  I read it.  You should too.  Here’s a taste:

The Zombie Survival Guide: Recorded Attacks by Max Brooks from Crown Books on Vimeo.

Now to take this Zombie love-fest to the next level.  I stumbled across a Cracked.com article from 2007 giving “5 Scientific Reasons a Zombie Apocalypse could Actually Happen”, which is a fun read and chock full of links to interesting stories (such as Mike the chicken who lived without a head for 18 months) and articles giving a more scientific basis to “zombie-ism”.  One article in particular, a 10 page article published in the October 1987 issue of ChemMatters (already got my subscription) tells the best recorded account of an actual zombie being created in Haiti.  It tells the tale of Clairvius Narcisse, a Haitian man who was admitted to hospital and died in 1962, only to return 18 years later.  It’s an exciting read, heavily science based (I mean come on; it’s from ChemMatters!  You can practically smell the nerd on this article), and features the following excerpts:

Narcisse returned with a scar on his cheek that he claimed was caused by a nail driven into his coffin.
Poison makers prepare the zombie powder. The cotton in their nostrils and their clothing is for protection against the poison.
Exhuming the corpse of a child whose bones were used in a preparation of the zombie powder.

What are you waiting for?  Check it out!

All images displayed here are copyrighted to their respective owners.  Any image present here can be removed by request from the author.

Oktoberfest beers, or Marzenbier, are characterized by their pale bronze to rich amber color, medium to full body, and malty flavor.  Marzen is the German word for March.  The term is used for this particular style of lager because it’s brewed during the month of March, and allowed to mature through spring and summer.  It’s ready just in time for Oktoberfest, hence its pseudonym Oktoberfest.

I’m a big fan of seasonal brews, Oktoberfest being one of my favorites, so I made it my mission this past Saturday to get out and sample some.  My mission took me to Austin’s own Draught House Pub & Brewery.  I figured if anyone would have a fair sampling these guys would.  It also happens to be the best pub in Austin, AND they serve FREE bratwurst on Saturdays.  FREE Bratwurst by the grace of the Gods, YES!  I had about an hour before brats were served, plenty of time to get a few Oktoberfests down.  I started with St. Arnold’s Oktoberfest.  A medium bodied, bronze colored, lightly malty brew with just a hint of bitter to it.  Overall, a fair sample.  Next I moved on to Brooklyn Brewery’s Oktoberfest.  This brew had a really strange note to it.  It had a heavy buttery aroma, and flavor.  Initially it’s slightly sweet, but finishes with this funky buttery sensation.  I recalled having read something about this off flavor in a brewing book years ago, but couldn’t quite remember what the cause was.  I did a bit of research, and discovered that the buttery note comes from diacetyl, a chemical byproduct yeast produces as it converts sugar to alcohol.  I suppose a dirty beer line could have been the cause of the foul, but I doubt it.  After half a half pint of the yeast poo beer, I pressed on to Blanco Texas brewer, Real Ale’s Oktoberfest.  Here is a nice medium bodied, pale copper brew with a good malty front, and a slightly hoppy bitterness that lingers on the back end.  Very tasty this one!  Next, I went for the tried and true Spaten Oktoberfest.  Spaten has been doing it longer than most, so they damn well better know how to get it right, and they do.  Here is a beer as hearty, and enjoyable as the good Germans that brew it.  This rich beer is full bodied, golden copper in color, with a nice rich malty flavor that finishes crisp, and clean.  Prost!  Last, but definitely not least, is another South Central Texas brew, Live Oak’s Oaktoberfest.  I’m fortunate to have a keg of this on tap at my place, and I celebrate that fortune as many times a day as I can get away with.  This light bodied brew is a nice rich amber, with a smooth malty flavor that finishes clean, and leaves just the slightest hint of hop bitterness.  Live Oak was certainly the most balanced of all the Oktoberfests I sampled.  Making it an easily enjoyable beer for beer lovers, and non-beer lovers alike.

As awesome a time as I had sampling those brews, I was disappointed to find a lack of Oktoberfests among South Central Texas Brewers.  Real Ale, and Live Oak represented.  Independence, 512, where y’all at?  You both brew up some tasty beers and you’re well respected for doing a good job of it, but where’s the Oktoberfest?  Next year please?

In the spirit of festive times, and with the festive season upon us, tell us what you’re fond of drinking during these festive times.

Apparently in the United States of America there are only two types of citizens:  those who see the Bill of Rights as something to be upheld for everyone from the President and politicians to illegal immigrants and criminals, and those who see the Bill of Rights as something to be leveraged to protect their way of life and ignored to the detriment of their enemies.

Since March of 2009, Van Jones has been Special Advisor for Green Jobs, Enterprise and Innovation at the White House Council on Environmental Quality.  He is a Yale Law graduate, snappy dresser, and all around neat guy (from what I’ve found on the internets).  But that’s beside the point.  He is using his expertise to help this country not only create more jobs, but create green jobs – the type of jobs that need to be filled in an industry that desperately needs to be grown so that we can pry this country out of the clutches of the oil industry for good.  Boost the economy and change our energy paradigm?  Sounds great!

Unfortunately he has been pressured into resignation by Fox “News” personalities and certain Republican politicians.  Apparently the Republicans were mad at Mr. Jones because he called them “assholes” during a town hall type meeting and signed an online petition demanding inquiry into the 911 attacks under the presupposition that the government allowed it to happen, and Glenn Beck was upset because Mr. Jones supported a campaign to get advertisers to boycott Beck’s show (because he called President Obama a racist).

So, here’s a guy who has expertise and skill in an area that our country desperately needs to develop for a myriad of reasons.  Now we don’t get to utilize this resource because he expressed his opinions over the years and some people didn’t like it.  Obviously it is above these people to look past what was said or done and see what could be accomplished.  It doesn’t matter if we share his opinions or not; he has the right to them, as we all do, and those opinions expressed in no way indicate that he may not be able to perform at his job.  In fact, President Obama didn’t want him to leave, he left because he “…cannot in good conscience ask my colleagues to expend precious time and energy defending or explaining my past. We need all hands on deck, fighting for the future.”

So let’s recap:  Van Jones is an all-american proponent for the people and planet but he expressed opinions that opposed the GOP and their mouthpiece, Fox “News”, so they dug up an online petition he signed about 911 being an inside job and used it to create a media shit storm to try and get him fired.  To which he basically said it wasn’t about him, we need to focus on the problem not on bullshit politics, and resigned.  Awesome.

GOP/Fox “News”: 1 America: 0

Aluminum cans or glass bottles, which do you prefer?  Why do you prefer one to the other?  Does it really matter?  For me, the beer is what counts.  However, the way in which your beer is packaged can drastically effect the taste of your beer.  The better question then would be, which container is better at preserving the beer inside?  Let’s explore their virtues.

Both cans, and bottles are easily sterilized, nonporous, and to varying degrees, durable.  Sunlight, and air are death to beer.  Sunlight will leave your beer skunky and sour, and air will flatten your beer, and impart other off flavors.  Cans do the best job of filtering sunlight, and air.  They’re airtight, and light-tight.  Bottles do an effective job as well, so long as they aren’t exposed to sunlight for too long, or allowed to sit on a shelf for extended periods of time.  When it comes to choosing a bottled beer, it’s usually best to go with a brown bottle versus a green bottle, or clear bottle.  Brown filters sunlight far better than green, or clear.

Some folks believe that aluminum imparts a slight metallic tang to beer.  That was probably true at one time, but today’s cans are lined with a water based coating.  The beer doesn’t even touch the can.  If you’re wondering that this coating might effect the taste of the beer, it doesn’t.  Just pop the top on a tall can of Strongbow, and tell me if that isn’t the cleanest tasting cider you’ve ever had.  You’ll not be able to say so!  If you’re one of those that turns your nose up at canned beer in general, I used to be one of those, stop and consider draft beer.  You wouldn’t turn your nose up at a draft beer would you?  Of course not!  Well, where do you think draft beer comes from?!  It comes from a big fucking aluminum can called a keg, or cask.

Let’s consider the aesthetic differences between cans and bottles.  Aesthetically, the two couldn’t be more different from one another.  It’s like comparing dwarves to elves.  In fact, let’s do that, this is a nerd blog after all.  Cans are like the dwarves of beer containers.  By dwarves I mean those that dwell in Middle Earth, and carry battle axes.  Cans are short, stout, can take a beating, but still serve up a good beer.  Bottles are more like elves; tall, slender, strong, but delicate.  Just a quick aside, as if elves and dwarves weren’t enough, sexiest long neck ever, Pacifico Clara.  See above picture.  This long neck is slightly taller, and thinner than most others.  Most long necks taper from base of neck to mouth at a sharp angle.  Pacifico’s long neck bows out a bit near the base, and goes up in a gentle curve.  SEXY!

Can or bottle, dwarf or elf, sexy or not sexy, does it really matter?  I suppose it comes down to personal preference.  However, once you’ve popped the top, it’s the beer that matters.  Drink up!

Cheers!

8-bit Miles Davis from http://kindofbloop.com/

Just saw this website on a friend’s google chat away message that has me a little shaken.

The site is called Kind of Bloop and it is basically a sales portal for an album entitled “Kind of Bloop: An 8-Bit Tribute to Miles Davis’ Kind of Blue”. Think old school NES soundtracks and Miles Davis.  Combined.  In an unholy union of Mario and high culture.

It’s the brainchild of Andy Baio, a blogger and entrepreneur from Portland, Oregon.  It sounds like he’s got his mits in various interesting enterprises, which you can read all about on his blog.

As a jazz musician, I’m appalled.  Sort of.

As a nerd, I’m delighted.  Sort of.

All in all, I’m confused but appreciative.

Go check it out!

Without further ado, I present to you the following revelation:  What I have stumbled upon is proof that cloning is, in fact, already a reality and is being used to literally grow the ranks of a ring of child performers and models operating somewhere in California.  Please observe the proof below:

Kristen Schaal

Kristen Schaal's Clone?

What you see here on the left is a photo of the actress Kristen Schaal, who plays the character “Mel” on a popular comedy music show.  Now please observe the image just below that one.  What you are seeing is a photo, taken by me, of a pack of natural baby diapers being sold at the aforementioned friendly neighborhood cooperative grocery establishment.  Let’s apply a scientific test: shift your eyes rapidly at a regular interval between the two images.  Note the cheeks.  Note the eyes.  Note the similar hair cut and color.  It is obvious that this child must be a clone of Ms. Schaal.  Science doesn’t lie.  Not to me.

To what end do these fiends strive, you ask?  I offer you the following hypothesis:  Since the beginning of recorded history, show business executives and managers have loathed the parents of child stars for standing in their way of unbridled profits.  Until now the only hope an exec had of capturing these geysers of cash was to devise a complicated routine of strategically played mind games, financial gymnastics, and legal action ultimately leading to the destruction of the family unit, pitting the child against it’s parents and hoping it would turn to the completely “sympathetic” and calculatedly much hipper management team for guardianship.

Now it would seem there is a much easier way to deal with the “middleman”.   If there are no parents to begin with, there is no one standing in the way of the vasts sums of wealth just waiting to be extracted by these cute smiles and chubby cheeks.  With low overhead due to factors such as the relatively small amount of food consumed every other day, the ability to efficiently squeeze many of these tiny performers into small and, most likely, unlit spaces, as well as the almost unquestionable fact that they have been genetically engineered to “expire” after a predetermined amount of time, these entertainment companies stand to profit handily.

In conclusion, I think we can all agree that this diabolical scheme, despite being a very sound business model, is largely unethical and maybe even illegal in some countries.  Please keep your eyes peeled for clones.  If we can gather enough evidence of this terrible plot and garner some celebrity endorsements, we can band together and fight for legislation to improve living and working conditions for the entertainment and advertising industries tiniest – and hardest – workers: clones.

The show follows two secret service agents, Pete (Eddie McClintock) and Myka (Joanne Kelly), who go from being “regular” secret service agents to being hand picked by the (still) mysterious Mrs. Frederick (CCH Pounder) and seemingly banished to the more-secret-than-top-secret Warehouse 13.  The mysterious warehouse turns out to be the repository for a myriad of artifacts from throughout history that posses some sort of supernatural or hyper-technological power.  The new agents are charged with collecting these artifacts so that they don’t fall into the wrong hands or cause any harm to those left unaware.  Which would be almost everyone else.  But them.   Their new boss and caretaker of the warehouse, Artie Nielsen (Saul Rubinek), has a close, personal relationship with the warehouse and seems to be an endless source of knowledge in regards to it’s contents as well as any artifacts that may still be in the wild.

The show has some interesting production design with much influence from the steampunk realm.  The show’s writing, in my opinion, is not as cutsie and neat as another Syfy favorite, Eureka, already providing some insight into dark events in the pasts of several of the characters and death being a very possible outcome to being within proximity to many of the artifacts.  I will say, that if it weren’t for the on-screen chemistry between the main trio of Pete, Myka, and Artie, the show would not be as strong as it is.  Eddie McClintock’s comedic interjections and repartee with Joanne Kelly in particular, carry the show in places where the writing is lacking .  It’s interesting that this is the case, as I feel very much the same way about Eureka’s Colin Ferguson; he simply carries the show through some less than stellar writing, huge assumptions, and convenient coincidences.

Both shows, however, are very entertaining, fun to watch, and if you don’t think about the science too terribly much – like a good beer – they go down nice and smooth.

You can catch Warehouse 13 Tuesdays at 9/8c and Eureka Fridays at 9/8c on Syfy.